I Want to Feel Soothed

Why draw about self soothing for adults?

My husband got caught up in a bad mood a few weeks back, from which he was having great difficulty moving forward.  It reminded me of the time when I had just had my second baby and I was beginning to feel a little too flat, a little too regularly.  My sister, the psychologist had reminded me how even adults need to learn to self sooth when they feel upset, angry, exhausted or frustrated.  I ended up writing these five ways to self sooth in my phone, on my blackboard and on the fridge to remind me of how I can lift myself out of the tired and flat heap.

  1. Get outside and get sweaty.  If this is not possible, do some lunges while you are bathing the kids, some calf raises while you are on the park watch, practice good yoga posture while you are cooking or listening to a very description of a very important lego vehicle that has just been created (or a very spectacular trick that you must watch), lift some books above your head 30 times or do a handstand against the wall for 30 seconds or more.  Anything to get that blood pumping and that mood moving on.
  2. Get some sleep, somewhere, somehow.  If this is not possible for more than 10 minutes then start with the ten minutes and work towards teaching your children to do something else while you sleep or hire a neighbour or friend to go for a walk with your children for 30 minutes.  People like to help.
  3. Have a good old cry.  Let it all out and don’t force it back in.  You know that crying releases a hormone that makes you feel better and that is why crying exists.
  4. Allow yourself to laugh.  Watch a hilariously funny you tube clip, funny photos of mothers not coping all around the world or ask a friend to tell you a joke.
  5. And lastly, have an orgasm.  If you can’t relax think about what turns you on and create that somehow, even if you don’t have a partner.  Use it or lose it is what they say.

Why should I self sooth aside from the obvious of feeling better quicker?

“Emotion regulation skills are essential for personal happiness, success, and smooth running relationships.” Alice Boyes (Psychology Today).